In a deal engineered by veteran mouthpieces Stein and
Cacheris, Ms.
Lewinsky has apparently headed off possible perjury charges
by offering a
full throated confession to Kenneth Starr. Sources close to
the
investigation report Starr is pumping Ms. Lewinsky for
details concerning
an oral pact with Mr. Clinton to withhold evidence. Although
the
independent prosecutor's team will drill Monica prior to
her testimony,
beltway observers do not anticipate a full dress rehearsal.

Top Ten list ...If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime
Minister.... 

10.There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India 
and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!! 

9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and

it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!! 

8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and 
Pasta. 

7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer. 

6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and 
will be replaced by Jayalalitha! 

5. National vegetable-Zucchini 

4. There will be Pope John Paul's 'yearly' visit - twice

every year!! 

3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to
"Michaelangelo's 
Confetti house"!! 

2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!! 

And ...the number one thing that will happen if Sonia 
Becomes the Prime Minister of India is..... 

1.All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions 
because she thinks they are all ITALIANS!! (Kotwani,
Multani, Vaswani 
......resemble Mussolini, Gianini, Benini etc.....*Kulkarni

also have a fair chance*...)

A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in Chennai.
He's stopped in traffic and thinks, "Wow, this traffic
seems worse than usual we're not even moving." 

He notices a police officer walking down thehighway in
between the cars and he rolls down his window and
says,"Excuse me officer, what's the hold up?" 

"Jayalalitha just found out the verdict, and she's all
depressed. She's lying down in the middle of the highway
and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and
light herself on fire. She just doesn't have Rs.85 Crores
for the tax dues. I'm walking around taking up a collection
for her".

Mayawati came to Lallu's house with a goat. 
Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho? 
Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai? 
Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

Bush, Manmohan, Sonia and Aishwarya in train
The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.


Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train
comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting
there looking perplexed. 

Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an
apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says
anything. 

Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after
Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel.
Very proper that she slapped him. 

Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but
kissed Sonia instead and got slapped. 

Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss
Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.


Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another
tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush
again.

Laloo the matchmaker
Laloo talks to his son, "I want you to marry a girl of my
choice ". Son : "I want to choose my own bride". 
Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani’s daughter." Son : "Well,
in that case..." 
Next Laloo approaches Ambani , "I have a husband for your
daughter." Ambani: "But my daughter is too young to
marry." 
Laloo : "But this young man is a vice president of the
World Bank." 

Ambani: "Ah, in that case..." Finally Laloo goes to see
the president of the World Bank. 
Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice
president." 
President : "But I already have more vice presidents than I
need." 
Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani’s son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case..."